My Life Story
This page intends to serve as a reminder and a source of hope and strength for everyone going through inexplicable hardship at any phase of life. While there is no comparison between the magnitude of hardship each person experiences in their lifetime, the hope is that this serves as a beacon of hope for all tomorrows.
My Life Story
Oh wait! Did you develop an impression of me having spent a quarter century collecting accolades as a happy-go-lucky individual? I won’t blame you. As humans, we are often bound to put our best foot forward and turn the switch on an impressive image of oneself. In my attempt to lay myself bare of my many vulnerabilities, I decided to put pen to paper on my lesser-shared personal challenges. On that note – Here’s a reality check into the real person behind all the accolades and commendations you witnessed on the Home page.
The Beginning
The story dates back to a time I have no first-hand memory of. As a toddler, crawling up to an eggshell witnessed my entire body get rashes and face swell with my eyelids ballooned, and eyes no more than a straight line. Being born into a Malayali home with fond sea-food consumers, being allergic to even the smell of seafood made me feel like a colossal misfit for simply being. It wasn’t always that I could escape circumstances of seafood being prepared or consumed by folks at home or in the neighborhood. You read that right – Even if neighbors were to indulge in satiating their taste buds it came at the cost of my unrest and there were no workarounds to inescapable situations like this – obviously I couldn’t control anyone from consuming food of their choice! – Even if that meant having to deal hours on end with incessant itching and oozing all over my face and limbs.
Growing up constantly oscillating between recurring episodes of psoriasis and a constantly lingering cold, cough and fever, my memories from childhood mostly comprise a gazillion visits to multiple doctors. The perpetual quest to figure out how to ‘fix’ my body from the constant struggle between one condition to another witnessed me taking refuge wallowing in self-pity and being loathsome of my appearance. How else would a 6–18-year-old individual cope with visible disorders on the largest organ on a human body?
Before you jump to conclusions or wonder whether I am blowing this out of proportion, here’s a sneak peek into some of my most vulnerable moments in the past 26 years orbiting the sun.
School Days
As a student who ended up taking a ton of sick leaves throughout my formative years, most days attending school meant getting administered with heavy medication of antibiotics and painkillers that suppressed my symptoms. The constant pill-popping in the first 14 odd years of my life led to my body getting resistant to all allopathic medication and supplements. Attempts at switching to Homeopathy and Ayurveda were met with severe side-effects too, leaving me with little to no relief or experience of comfort that accompanies good health.
Singing the National anthem and reciting The Pledge were everyday morning assembly rituals in a convent school. While everyone stood to attention for the anthem or their right hand crossed over the left shoulder for The Pledge, my oozing limbs recovering from an episode of a flare up would force my hands to remain bent like one would notice on a fracture-plastered arm. Difference being, in place of a plaster was nothing but a dark patch of skin breaking out with blood and water oozing with every attempt to straighten it. When the existence of the largest organ on a human body is painful, there are only so many aspirations my school going self-had the bandwidth to dream about.
Invariably, the avoidant demeanor of my peers coupled with the overly sensitive disposition I was perpetually in, had me mingle with no more than a friend or two throughout my school days.
Cut to 2011, grade 10 – All hell broke loose after my mother’s life-threatening accident. For a child who was overly dependent on her mother, whose company was the only source of comfort; this curveball felt like the harshest, most-cruel reality I had to deal with as a 14-year-old. What with a health condition that aggravated with the slightest hint of stress, every update from the hospital over the months and years left me feeling helpless, with a constant craving to have her beside me.
Junior College
For someone who felt exposed with the sudden disappearance of the only safety net of comfort beneath her (mom’s presence), it was almost like swimming against the tide when I decided to make a conscious attempt to socialize with batchmates. Even if that came at the cost of not being taken seriously while mingling – given my appearance. While I had made up my mind as early as in 8th grade to pursue my undergraduate studies in law, I knew that if I had to work towards the path I had defined for myself, I ought to get out of my reclusive being. Having gotten admission at one of the best colleges for Humanities – Symbiosis College of Arts and Commerce in Pune, I knew that I had to make my two years of junior college count as a stepping stone before entering law school.
Having taken part in a plethora of extracurricular and co-curricular activities, while also maintaining my grades and securing a rank among the top 4 in the batch, I knew I was on the right track.
Alas! The common factor that seemed to continue making its presence felt in my life was my uber-volatile skin condition.
June 2013: I was advised by a very well-meaning acquaintance to consult a specific Homeopathic doctor who could help me cure my psoriasis for good.
July 2013: The doctor examines me and mentions with confidence that I would be fully healed with not a trace of rash within a few months of his treatment. Although the doctor did put out a caveat of the condition aggravating by no more than 10% of what it was, before it started curing for good. The first month of medicines seemed to suit me well enough.
August 2013: Month 2 of medicines started aggravating my condition on my feet and limbs. I noticed my socks getting stuck to the rashes on my feet while they oozed and bled through the day.
September – October 2013 – My skin condition aggravated to the extent of not being able to step out of the house for anything whatsoever. Every inch of my hands (palm to shoulder) and legs (toes to thighs) were covered in a thick layer of scaly skin that would incessantly itch and peel off every hour. The nights were not just privy to my long-lost sleep but also witnessed me writhing in pain while I attempted to distract myself with music and dance videos. It wasn’t until 7 in the morning that I’d get some sleep. Having skipped college for 2 full months, and attempting my assignments from home with multiple tissue papers beneath my palms to avoid blood stains on the journal pages, I was desperate to return to normalcy. With 12th grade prelims less than a month away, my skin condition showed no signs of improvement. It was at this point that I was forced to resort to strong allopathy medicines that would suppress my symptoms.
November 2013 – Within 1 week of allopathy medicines, all my rashes were cleared, with not a trace of uneasiness on my body. Almost felt like I’d won the Battle of Plassey, while all I did was give in to my last resort with strong medications to be able to prepare for my upcoming Prelims.
December 2013 – Attempted my Prelim exams and secured an 80% (3rd rank) in the batch. Thanks to my impostor syndrome, I attributed my grades to a matter of chance or oversight by the examiners.
February 2014 – Attempted my Board exams and secured an 84% and a 4th rank in the batch.
Law School Life
Coming Soon!
[Every attempt at getting myself to document these phases of my life leave me triggered. But document them, I will. In good time.]
The Vitamin Supplement-Induced Fiasco
Coming Soon!
The Tumor
Coming soon!
The first 6 months of 2022 have made me privy to defining moments in my life thus far, and I cannot help but document all my big lows and highs.
Beginning the year having to undergo a major surgery as a high-risk patient for a ‘giant-sized tumor’ was a rather significant jolt from the blue. Having had so many of my friends go all out of the way to be by my side through it all, made all the challenges that came with painful procedures, that much more bearable. A friend rushed through her 7-hour long semester exams just to have a video call with me all the way from Indore. Three of my dearest friends’ presence at the hospital meant the world to me while I reeled out of sedatives and learnt how to sit up straight and walk again. Most importantly, all my workplace seniors who were the most supportive of me throughout this rough phase – taking regular updates from me on my progress, allowing me all the time to recover before resuming work and so much more. I couldn’t be more grateful.
Since then, to being notified of being nominated for the 𝘖𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘌𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 by Education 2.0 for an event at International Convention Centre in Dubai; to getting the chance to share my experiences as a means to advocate for policy changes as part of the 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰 𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 which was followed by getting selected for a 𝘝𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 showcasing the poor accessibility of public spaces and streets for persons with disabilities; to following a strict workout routine focusing on both strength training and cardio; to getting accepted for a Summer School with scholarship from the 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘆 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗱 — I do believe I have come a long way, with a longer way to go.
Over 2 years ago, my colleague Priyanka Cholera, her sister Priyanshi Cholera and I began a community by the name ‘𝘾𝙖𝙣𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙡’ – a support group for folks who have themselves been through Cancer or have been caregivers to family members who have had to fight this battle.
From realising the urgency in wanting to fulfil my life purpose to inching closer to it with every passing engagement, I knew for a fact that I wanted to make something significant of the adversities I have had to endure. This gave birth to the idea of ‘𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙜𝙮’ – a podcast where I intend to bring on board individuals who have endured big challenges in their personal lives and are thriving in their respective fields. With an exceptional lineup of guests who have graciously agreed to share their stories, I cannot wait to share their lived experiences through it all.
Head on to the Podcast tab to know more about The Speak Synergy